Spoken Word

What do you do when you're dead but still alive?

When you want to show strewn handprints down your chest

and through your thighs

So you lift your shirt

But there's nothing there to prove what he did or how it hurt

It's like invisible ink

Shine the light but be careful not to blink

Or you'll miss it

But I'll never miss it

Everything is reminiscent

It's like a picture with a flash

It blinds my eyes but the memory is still intact

But he says the memory isn't real

He says...

It wasn't me and I didn't do it

If she doesn't remember she'll never prove it

She'll just lose it

Her faith

Her dignity

Her self esteem

Her fire

The things that lit her up, made her laugh, and made her smile

Is this some sort of test?

Of my strength? Of my courage?

Cuz I'll never be brought down

And I'll never be discouraged

Let me take a moment to tell you how it is

You'll never break my spirit

My determination lives

And I'll take this as an opportunity

From whatever is up above

To prove to myself that I can still love

And I'll wear your hand prints as tattoos 

Not because I have something to prove

But because I have something to give...

Alive or dead?

I'll choose to live.

The End of a Trilogy

So the leaves changed from green to red

Burnt with fire and left for dead

Screaming symphonies, creating a stir

Motionless chaos we view as a blur

With the change came a sudden downpour

Filling city streets, battling for power

The destruction they left has created a void

Your heart grows dimmer, and the trees are overjoyed

Why must the seasons battle our love

Rip us apart as they laugh from above

Who will have the last say in this war?

Distance over love will win nevermore

Memories of Twilight

And so the seasons changed without us

Our laughter changed to pain

They stripped us of our strength

And left an ache we cannot tame

It was I who asked the question

Filled with uncertainty and fear

Distance failed to make the heart grow fonder

It only placed upon it more wear 

Instead of coffee stains, it's blood

Instead of smoke filled rooms, it's liquor

I sweat, but chills will follow

The air seems to get thicker

Balance remains unseen

Once the scales have been tilted

The hidden risks arise

To be left, To be jilted

Am I still the angel and the siren alike?

Does my echo keep you up, can you not sleep at night?

Do you play my lullabies, and picture me there?

Say yes, before the seasons turn a new and hopeless year

Untitled

I have a poor excuse

I trust too easy

And it's left me broken

I had to. These are your words

You had to hurt me

Before I hurt you

And now I'm left with hand prints

No one can see them

But you. And I. 

Amazing how you place the blame

Make assumptions

Over a girl you'll never know

You have done nothing but redeem my faith

That not everyone can love

Not everyone deserves to be loved

The world is full of ugly people

If you don't mind

I'd prefer to be alone

Orange Rind

I had a dream last night

That I wrote my suicide poem,

the words of which where unclear to me,

In black magic marker

On an orange.

I placed the orange in a green teacup,

Saucer and all,

Put it on an empty counter

And sat. Waiting. 

For someone to come along

And peel away my last words.

To devour my thoughts.

And let me die in peace.

The Western Tunnel

The western tunnel was closed today

People in cars had to find another way

I sat on the pike watching them pass

Wondering why they let their lives move so fast

I slow down time, staring at the piers

Watching the people, alone, with my fears

The rhythm of the highway doesn't match the passing tides

And the mountains seem a backdrop from yet another slide

Machines to make the city taller

Creating only unmasked squalor

Where seagulls perch to pick up trash

And homeless men sit and beg for cash

All this mixed with flowers and trees

Where the cityscape intertwines with the breeze

The ominous clouds are really mountains

The roads are filled with statues and fountains

The western tunnel was closed today

People in cars had to find another way

And as I sat on the pike watching them pass

I knew this feeling would never last

Composition of Dirt

Let me be one with the earth

Let my body dissolve into the dirt

Surround me with forests and wild flowers

Let my spirit become a part of their power

There's something else that awaits

A sense of freedom where beauty emanates

I feel it when the wind hits my back

When I hear the rush of water next to the tracks

Who are you to judge me

when we all end up alone

With only the sky above me

I can finally feel at home

Where will you go when you die?

To your false god in the sky?

We are all part of one another

Family, friends, strangers, lovers

Call my name to the whispering wind

I will awaken once again

The Vineyard

Pink sun setting over fields of grapes

Endless hours of labor to produce the wine we taste

Intoxicating, we bask in the light

Creating colors on our skin that reflect in the night

One by one, baring pieces of my soul

We sit perfectly still, breathing in slow

One slight flinch, this moment will be over

Back to not now, not later

To lies, and to failure

Courage leaves as quickly as it came

We are a constant circle, the end always the same

One day I shall become a straight line

Following a path that is only mine

When judgement day hits

Look at the scars on my wrist

Realize it was never okay

Not now, not later, as you so often say

Live and die with that fact

Choose how you react

And until you make up your mind

I'll bide my time and drink my wine

Lover's Souls

Maybe there's no way we'll survive this

Broken bottles

Empty coffee mugs

Brown rings still inside them

The view between us is clouded with smoke

As I try to reach your eyes

One piercing look reminds me 

Love can never lie

Ashes mixed with sweat 

Another sun rises

I watch from your window ledge

Longing for twilight

You lie perfectly still 

In your silent dream filled world

Despite my hollow prayers

The days still turn

What will it bring when the seasons change without us?

Will we still create a perfect sense of balance?

What will happen when lovers souls reunite?

Will we still find the hours to spill poetry that fills the sky?

I am the angel basking in the light

Lying in your bed after another sleepless night

I am the siren singing you to sleep

When I am gone my lullabies are only yours to keep

Eclectic Reaction

We sit playing songs on repeat

Comparing rhythms and syncopated beats

Laughing at our repetition

Creating dreams driven with ambition

You are my muse 

Just as much as I am yours

What distance brings

Can only teach us more

Accept one another for who we are

Beauty will emanate, erasing my scar

The Divide

The divide

Between where your heart lies with mine

Is an empty canyon

Evaporated water

Leading to a broken dam

But among the ruins lies inevitable beauty

Empty cracks holding secrets

Only whispered between you and I

Our past can not be denied

Illuminated when the sun hits our edges

Rising and falling, ricocheting between ledges

Can you hear our echo forever calling back the past,

Luring relapse after relapse?

It shouts "Jump into my net"

Safety being my best bet

But what would come if I did not?

If I chose instead to destroy this plot?

Could we survive, parched mouthed and paralyzed?

I'd rather that then live a lie

Handprints

I submerge where water meets the land

Head first let it wash me of their prayers

We stripped bare of everything but ink

Keeping rhythm, drowning sins

While trying not to sink

Down where spirits can not find us

I cry out for a god I can't rely on

Down where our voices can be heard

Where my secrets seep into your skin 

Without saying a word

Some nights I pull you under

Seeking colors only we create

We swirl together, like paint on a canvas

Leaving smudges with our hand prints

Other nights you drag me out

Resuscitating me 

With the beauty that pours from your mouth

Tonight we sing a melody

We are each others harmony

Above the water, distance seems farther

When worlds collide, come find me near the shallow tides

Map on the Wall

Picture a scene

Everything we pass is blue and green

Whirlwind of cultures

One after another

Bare feet out the window

Your burning cigarette the only glow

Our voices intertwined

As you read my quiet mind

We don't need an address

Every ocean, every desert, more dramatic

I'd steal a plate from every state

Rolls of film from hours we killed

You'd stand on the edge

You'll fall forward

I'll fall behind

Lets cross every state line

Your words will be my nourishment

You'll capture our occurrences

Our songs will keep us warm

Never asking for commitment

It's as simple as you let it

Let me know

I'll go